Inside Jokes, FAQs, & Wev

What's wev?
Why Shakesville?
What's Shakesville all about, anyway?
What's with the teaspoon?
What's the Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime?
What's the Shaker Gourmet?
What and when is Blogwhoring?
What's the Virtual Pub?
Can I submit a Question of the Day?
What's your commenting policy?
Why do you use douchebag? Isn't that sexist?
What's QCoFM?
What's WTP?
What's a feminazi cooter?
What's a douchehound?
What's OMG Shoez?
Who is your inner gay?
Will Bill Stickers be prosecuted?
Does Larry King hate my stinking guts and want to kill me?
How much do moustache rides cost?
Can we get serious?
What if I have a question that isn't answered on this list?

What's wev?

Wev is what I say when I have too much contempt for something to even bother uttering the full three syllables of whatever. Or, as the case may be, typing them.

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Why Shakesville?

In October 2004, I started a blog I called Shakespeare's Sister, after one of my favorite Smiths' songs, and adopted the same as my own handle. When I had no readers besides Mr. Shakes, it didn’t seem particularly weird to share my handle with the name of the blog, but as an entire community of contributors, guest writers, commenters, and lurkers grew, it didn’t make a bit of sense. And so, as a nod to the community, Shakespeare's Sister became Shakesville.

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What's Shakesville all about, anyway?

Shakesville is a feminist blog, and a feminist's blog. It is a progressive blog. It is a safe space. It is a community. It is a blog whose contributors are resolved to endeavor always to be aware of our privilege, and, in moments of failure, remain open to criticisms and suggestions, think twice before responding defensively, and apologize when we fuck up. We expect the same of those who want membership in the community. No one is expected to be perfect; everyone is expected to be willing to self-examine and learn. Forward movement, progress, on cultural, political, and individual levels is woven into the fabric of Shakesville.

Shakesville's key objectives are equality, momentum, growth, community, empathy, and laughter.

We blog about domestic politics, foreign policy, high culture, pop culture, books, film, telly, food, the patriarchy, oppression, repression, religion, philosophy, parenting, not parenting, marriage, cats, why women's trousers have so many buttons, and anything else that we feel like discussing. With photos. Many of them doctored for maximum hilarity.

All are invited. Whether you are welcome is up to you.

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What's with the teaspoon?

The teaspoon reference started with my post on International Human Rights Day, when I said: "Today is the final day of the 16 Days of Action Against Gender Violence, during which I suppose I have blogged exactly as often as always about violence against women, in America and abroad. Sometimes it feels like it's all I ever write about; sometimes it feels like I can't possibly write about it enough to do the issue justice; often, those feelings exist within me simultaneously. All I ever do is try to empty the sea with this teaspoon; all I can do is keep trying to empty the sea with this teaspoon." From that came the Shakesville Silver Teaspoon for Random Acts of Feminism, and a whole lot of subsequent references to teaspoons in these pages, when we are feeling crushed by the vastness of the work to be done.

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What's the Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime?

The Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime is a daily feature which evolved from a Sunday afternoon spent with Mr. Shakes watching bullshit on YouTube. I'd call up some show from my American childhood, and he'd call up some show from his Scottish childhood, and we noted to one other how evoking pleasant memories of one's childhood seems to so readily ease adult anxiety. There's something about hearing a theme song you haven't heard in years, or seeing the opening credits to a show you loved loved loved as a kid, that just pulls you back into a space very distant from the tension of adulthood—and, like an unexpected smile can penetrate gloom, fond nostalgia seems to have the unique capacity to ease worries. So I decided to start each morning with a blast from the past in pursuit of such wistful Zen. Not every one means something to everyone, but hopefully everyone will experience on some days a grin and a sigh of warm recollection.

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What's the Shaker Gourmet?

Shaker Gourmet is a weekly feature in which Misty posts the recipe for a scrumptious dish provided by a Shaker. She's always soliciting new recipes, so if you've got a good one, send it in!

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What and when is Blogwhoring?

Blogwhoring is dropping into a comments thread the link to a post of which you're proud, or which has content relevant to the discussion. Blogwhoring is generally encouraged anywhere at Shakesville, although we have official Blogwhoring threads on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Petulant also does Morning Readings, which are just round-ups of good stuff to read that day, and those are good places to drop a link or two.

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What's the Virtual Pub?

The Virtual Pub is a Friday night gathering for all Shakers and other passersby to have a virtual drink and a nice chat about this or that. Sometimes it's low-key, sometimes it's wild, but it's always interesting.

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Can I submit a Question of the Day?

Absolutely! Send me an email with your suggestion(s).

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What's your commenting policy?

Comments are open to anyone as long as they don't traffic in racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise overtly objectionable commentary. Differences of opinion are welcome; no one has ever been nor will ever be banned on a difference of opinion alone. Threats, trolling, pointless belligerence, and hate speech will get you banned. Or get your comments redacted and/or replaced with an incredibly sophomoric paraphrase, like an announcement that you're a huge douche. If some of that sounds rather arbitrary, well, it is. Ultimately, whether you can comment at Shakesville is at my discretion—and plaintive, angry, or accusatory wailing about free speech will fall on deaf ears. This isn't a public square. This is a safe space.

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Why do you use douchebag? Isn't that sexist?

Actually, douching was a terribly anti-woman practice designed to make women feel ashamed about their natural body odor. Repeated douching can wash away the lining of the uterus, making it not just pointless but dangerous. So, when one needs a word to describe, say, our pointless and dangerous former president, one would be hard-pressed to find a better word than douchebag.

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What's QCoFM?

QCoFM is an abbreviation for Queen Cunt of Fuck Mountain, which I christened myself in response to emails I'd been getting about my coarse and decidedly unladylike language: "Fearing that we face a whole new level of bullshit about which we will, and should, be visibly angry, and preparing myself thusly, comments and emails composed specifically to tell me to stop using bad language or to start being less aggressive, less hostile, less antagonistic, less bitchy, less arrogant, less belligerent, less vitriolic, less nasty, less acerbic, or less of a poopyhead, are as welcome as any other, but I feel obligated to inform all potential authors of such missives that they are, however, a waste of time. If I get my facts wrong, let me know. If you don’t like my tone, tough. At this bus stop in the blogosphere, I’m Queen Cunt of Fuck Mountain, and I’m mean for a reason. Once we get our country back on the right track, there will plenty of time for nursery rhymes."

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What's WTP?

What the Poop, or WTP, is like WTF, except...more so. Or less so. WTPs are sort of like Potter Stewart and obscenity—you just know it when you see it. WTF, while exceptionally useful in conveying cynical anger, pales in comparison to the genius of WTP when one needs to express guileless bewilderment at so much weird and fucked-up shit in the world. Its genesis lies with Mama Shakes, who exclaimed "What the poop?!" one evening in response to a confounding clock. I told Mama Shakes that "What the poop?!" was going straight on the blog—and she was going to have to pose for a picture, to which she immediately consented, because she's as batshit nutz as I am.

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What's the feminazi cooter?

This is the feminazi cooter:



Now, I'm sort of breaking the Feminazi Cooter League's code of secrecy to do this, but let me just explain how the process works, to clear up any confusion: The Radical Gay Eggs are kept in the ovaries until they are fertilized by the dulcet tones of Barney Frank (or a Frank-certified Fertilofag like Spudsy), at which time they are deposited in the womb where they incubate alongside the Radical Gay Agenda Pink Disco Ball, which spins to the beat of It's Raining Men. In mere hours, the Radical Gay Eggs hatch into teensy lavender copies of Melissa Etheridge singles, which slowly disintegrate as they pass through the vaginal canal, emitting radiating vibrations of the Radical Gay Agenda.

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What's a Douchehound?

The Douchehound is a breed of dog invented by Melissa in response to a question posed by Space Cowboy: "What other breeds (bigger than a poodle) do you think would be appropriate [for Tony Blair]?"

The Douchehound is now invoked with regularity in response to extreme douchiness, e.g. "Release the douchehounds."

This is the North American Douchehound:



This is the British Douchehound:



As you can see, the main difference between the two is that the British Douchehound's unique markings give it the appearance of wearing a hugely douchy Union Jack bandana.

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What's OMG Shoez?

"OMG Shoez" is something that Spudsy and Melissa call each other just to say like 90 times a day, all because of this video.



It's also a good way to indicate that a troll is being a drama queen, e.g.:

Troll: "Liberals will be the end of America!"

You: "OMG Shoez."

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Who is your inner gay?



Divine

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Will Bill Stickers be prosecuted?



Bill Stickers is innocent!

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Does Larry King hate my stinking guts and want to kill me?



Yes.

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How much do moustache rides cost?



5¢

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Can we get serious?

I'll try, but I can't promise you anything.

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What if I have a question that isn't answered on this list?

Email me.

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