Sister Loses Her Shit

Slate’s headlines today were as follows:

1. Good Pop, Bad Pop: Why Democrats—not Republicans—are the hard-line parents.
2. Who’s Worse? The French or the Saudis?
3. Are Republicans Nicer Than Democrats?

What the hell is going on over there? All three stories were complete crap, and while I fully intended while reading them to dissect them and point out the obvious flaws and ludicrous assumptions populating each article, I now simply can’t be bothered. In fact, I feel like there are better things to be talking about one week before the election, and frankly, I think Slate should feel the same. I don’t really give a rat’s ass who’s nicer to someone in a t-shirt featuring the opposing party’s candidate, nor do I give a flying fuck who’s a better dad, as long as he knows how to run the friggin’ country.

It’s no wonder we’re about the plunge off the edge of a cliff, with stories like these making headlines 8 days before the most highly contested presidential election in my lifetime. And meanwhile, I see more headlines today about Ashlee Simpsons’s lip-synching mishap than about the 380 tons of explosives in Iraq that are now missing because we chose to guard the Iraqi Oil Ministry instead.

What has HAPPENED to this country? Slate, get it together, and the rest of you media fucks out there, you get it together, too. When there are a hundred thousand people turning out to see John Kerry speak, I don’t want to hear reports that it’s a few hundred, and that they’re still not inspired by Kerry—they just want Anybody But Bush. Fuck that; we want Kerry, you pricks, and by the way, it doesn’t matter whether it’s “ABB” or JFK when whoever it is pulls in people by the truckloads without requiring them to sign loyalty oaths. How about reporting reality for a change? Assholes.