Dear Abbie (Hoffman): Subversion 101

Aside from a few bright spots in the MSM (see AMERICAblog for posts on all examples, including video links), the reluctance to pursue Gannongate to what (or where, or whom) should be its inevitable conclusion is frustrating, to say the least. The Rude Pundit, however, has an idea:

Now, we know that Bush is stabbing his Christian constituency in the back in his lack of funding of his faith-based initiatives. The Christian right is sore, with the sweet, soft belly of a hog on a spit. It's time to poke that fucker with a stick. Get the Christian wackjobs upset, and the Gannyguck story flies. You know it. The Rude Pundit knows it.

Here's what we do: we start invading the Christian conservative websites (and right-wingers who hate gays). Try to stay as "mainstream" as possible. Hit the chat rooms and message boards. E-mail like crazy. And pretend to be Christian, conservative, and mad as hell that the President would allow someone like Gannyguck into the sanctified pure whiteness of America's house. Go on Fox's website and do the same. Never, never make it that you hate Bush - make it that you're betrayed. Fuck, if a few cranks from Focus on the Family can get the FCC to criminally raise fines on indecency, then we can use those cranks to our advantage. (The Rude Pundit is not going to list sites to contact because, in case anyone does this, he doesn't want such complaints to be seen as "illegitimate" because of the Rude Pundit's involvement.)

Here's an example (please do not copy exactly - let's make it seem as little like astroturf as possible- and don't seem too smart): "As a Republican and Christian, I'm appalled that the President allowed a known male prostitute into the press room. When I voted for George Bush, I thought I was voting for the family values candidate. Now I find out the President not only allowed Jeff Gannon/ James D. Guckert to join the media in the White House, but he called on him at a press conference. I think George Bush owes us an apology and an explanation."

Oh, what fun it could be if we get away with it. E-mail the Rude Pundit with your postings or e-mails that you sent to your "favorite" conservative writer or organization: rudepundit@yahoo.com.

And remember: our cause is just as we face evil people.

It’s funny, but it’s also a great idea. (I’m so in.) If you’re in, too, make sure you copy me when you email the Rude Pundit.

And re: not seeming too smart—spelling errors will help. I would also suggest that “as a Republican and Christian” is probably superfluous, and will seem suspicious. Also, use the word “homosexual” a lot—“a known homosexual prostitute.” (It’s amazing what you can learn from Pam’s many brave forays into Freepville…) Good luck and godspeed!