“Rove says GOP ready to keep power for years”

If American politics were a movie, I guess this would be the part where the nerdy guy (played by Karl Rove) would be driving down a costal highway in a convertible wearing a pair of Ray-Bans, while “The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades” takes over the soundtrack.

U.S. Rep. John Boehner, the area's Republican congressman, said that Rove and Bush go back 30 years and that Rove is perhaps Bush's closest confidant.

"Karl Rove will always be sitting there on the president's right," Boehner said.

Once again, I must reiterate my hope that when Bush’s two terms are up and he moseys back to Crawford (or the executive board of some oil company or wherever the hell he goes), Rove goes, too. If he gets his hooks into some other GOP douchebag and they manage to pull out another “win,” we could be looking at Rove being our behind-the-curtain president indefinitely.

Rove's blueprint for winning elections still emphasizes traditional values, education, low taxes and a word he stressed Monday - compassion.

Euphemism: Traditional Values
Translation: Homophobia, Xenophobia, Racism, Sexism, and Conservative Christianity

Euphemism: Education
Translation: Voucher programs serving as a backdoor means to circumvent Brown v. Board of Ed

Euphemism: Low Taxes
Translation: Continued redistribution of taxation from corporations to individuals composing the American middle class

Euphemism: Compassion
Translation: Continuing to exploit those we can fool into believing we give a shit about them until we have taken away every social safety net, thereby making it impossible for them to be anything but obedient worker drones, while we roll around naked in piles of their money they dutifully handed over to a Social Security privatization scheme

"We defend time-tested values," Rove said, adding that the Republican Party is determined to reform and update 20th century programs such as Social Security that will be confronted by demographic upheavals in the decades ahead.

See?

"We're shaping history," he said.

Their pomposity is so grandiose as to be mind-blowing. Shaping history. Pfft. How about you pay a little more attention to the present and the immediate needs of the American people? Of course, I suppose if a legacy of bringing the world’s sole remaining superpower to its knees is what you’re gunning for, then keep on keeping on, my Machiavellian friends.