Okay, so I started this because I thought it would be a fun new meme, but it was actually a lot of work. So I’m not going to tag anyone (especially not John Howard, who would probably stab me with a sword, because Floridians are crazy like that), but if anyone ends up doing a quiz, please trackback to this post (or email me, if you don’t do trackback) so I can check it out.
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Ten multiple choice questions, each with four possible answers. Three of them are true; you pick out the one that is false. Whoever wins gets the ultimate prize: Bragging Rights.
Off we go…
1. Which of the following bands has Shakespeare’s Sister never seen in concert?
A. The Smiths
B. The Cure
C. New Kids on the Block
D. Siouxsie and the Banshees
2. Which of the following is not a food that Shakespeare’s Sister refuses to eat?
A. Hotdogs
B. Eggs
C. Cabbage
D. Peeps
3. Which of the following movies has Shakespeare’s Sister never seen?
A. Taxi Driver
B. Mean Streets
C. Chinatown
D. Raging Bull
4. Which of the following is not something Shakespeare’s Sister said to a former fat fuck Republican coworker?
A. If you ever read my email again, I’ll kill you.
B. Your wife must be clinically insane.
C. Get your enormous head out of my sight.
D. You reek of booze.
5. Which of the following has Shakespeare’s Sister never done while drunk?
A. Called Britain on a friend’s regular landline and had a very expensive two-hour conversation.
B. Fell asleep in a friend’s bathroom with her bare foot against a radiator and woke up with second-degree burns on her sole.
C. Spent the entirety of her paycheck on pizzas, booze, and cigars for an entire floor of her university dorm.
D. Completely blown off an awards ceremony at a major business convention, sending her even more drunk underling in her stead, who then threw a punch at the boss after winning an award.
6. Which of the following has Shakespeare's Sister never done while tripping?
A. Asked a transvestite at the Melrose Diner to please put her breasts away.
B. Stared at a poster of Suede until Brett Anderson winked at her.
C. Gotten trapped at work and forced to work on an important project for the city.
D. Deliberately freaked out herself and a friend by reading excerpts from The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers.
7. Which of the following has Shakespeare’s Sister never purchased as a gift for Mr. Shakes?
A. An A-Team lunchbox.
B. A 19th-century Russian cigarette case engraved with an image of Tolstoy.
C. A pair of boxers covered in hearts and honey bees.
D. A signed copy of The English Patient.
8. Which of the following has not been the name of one of Shakespeare’s Sister’s pets?
A. Matthew the Turtle
B. Bobby the Parakeet
C. Teddy the Dog
D. Oscar the Cat
9. Which of the following is not a nickname of Mr. Shakes’ for Shakespeare’s Sister?
A. Bawheed
B. Chunkles
C. Kabuffle
D. Nushtelhead
10. Which of the following is not a statement Shakespeare’s Sister would use to describe herself?
A. I’m easily tricked.
B. I’m easily chilled.
C. I’m easily amused.
D. I’m easily mistaken for a Campbell’s Soup Kid.
Extra Credit Essay Question: Shakespeare’s Sister’s favorite word is wev. Provide its etymology and definition, and give a sample statement using the name George Bush that might elicit a wev from Shakespeare’s Sister.
Please lay down your pencils as soon as your quiz is complete.
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