Liberal Monsters

If only this were a joke, but it’s not. This adorable little book which recasts liberals as the monsters that children find under their beds is described as “a fun way for parents to teach young children the valuable lessons of conservatism.” What are those valuable lessons, you ask? Namely, that liberals will ruin your life! “Written in simple text, readers can follow along with Tommy and Lou as they open a lemonade stand to earn money for a swing set. But when liberals start demanding that Tommy and Lou pay half their money in taxes, take down their picture of Jesus, and serve broccoli with every glass of lemonade, the young brothers experience the downside to living in Liberaland.” Ah, yes. The familiar tale of liberals storming into privately owned enterprises and demanding that religious imagery be removed and forcing proprietors to sell something they don’t want to. What an age-old story. It’s about time someone turned it into a children’s book. Especially that part about taxes. Personally, on this one, I’ve always sided with Oliver Wendell Holmes, who said that he liked paying taxes, because, with them, he bought civilization, but then again, I’m just a stinking scary liberal with a radical lemonade stand-destroying agenda. I can only imagine what an absolutely dreadful burden taxes are to conservatives, who don’t like civilization, and want no part of buying it—unless of course it’s hoo-rah nation-building endeavors like the Iraq War, which is funded by…uh…oh yeah—tax dollars.

The publisher’s notes on this book also mention that it has been “[h]ailed as 'the answer to a baseball mom's prayers.'” Baseball moms. See that? They’re not filthy soccer moms. Soccer is an international game—a liberal game. But baseball is all-American. Ye-haw.

This book is recommended for children 4-8, which has apparently been identified by conservatives as the perfect age range to begin the indoctrination of children with hatemongering against their fellow Americans. Well decided, I say. You can’t start early enough helping children unlearn the intellectualism, logic, reason, and critical thinking skills that are foisted down their throats at that liberal brainwashing factory known as the public school system.

I just hope the author, Katharine DeBrecht writes some stuff for older kids, to undo the damage when they start learning about that great spook of monstrous liberals—science.

(Hat tip Political Wire.)