Hail to the King, Baby

The King of Zembla is off on one, and it’s good:

As you already know, ex-FEMA chief Michael "Heck-of-a-Job" Brown has become the first bindlestiff thrown off the Bush gravy train. Back in the year 2000 it was widely and inexplicably assumed by many voters that Mr. Bush, an inexperienced cretin with no qualifications for the Presidency, would surround himself with "the best people"; instead he surrounded himself with the likes of Brown, an inexperienced cretin with no qualifications for the job of FEMA chief. (Although we have not had a chance to confirm our theory with the First Lady, we strongly suspect that Mr. Brown won the post by teaching Mr. Bush how to "milk" an Arabian stallion.) You will sleep more soundly tonight knowing that FEMA will henceforth be run by the helpful chap who advised, some years back, that Americans prepare for a biological attack by stocking up on duct tape.

Misplaced trust in his fellow dimwits has unfortunately exposed the President to press grillings like the one described today by Editor & Publisher, in which it becomes painfully apparent that the Chief Executive is either unwilling or unable to read a newspaper, and reluctant (though presumably able) to turn on a television in times of crisis; has less "situational awareness" about current events affecting the lives of millions of Amercians than the average sports fan who sees an occasional news crawl at the bottom of his ESPN screen; and is therefore woefully unfit to govern. Quizzed by reporters about Brown's resignation, Mr. Bush professed mystification: "Maybe you know something I don't know." Well, let's hope so; God help anyone who doesn't.

There’s lots more—check it out.

And in case you missed the press grilling to which the King refers, read it here. When one reads Bush’s rambling, nonsensical, spintastic answers, it’s not hard to understand why it takes a moment to realize this is satire.