The Stink of Desperation

I tell you one thing... it don't smell like victory.

Army in Worst Recruiting Slump in Decades

WASHINGTON - The Army is closing the books on one of the leanest recruiting years since it became an all-volunteer service three decades ago, missing its enlistment target by the largest margin since 1979 and raising questions about its plans for growth.

Many in Congress believe the Army needs to get bigger — perhaps by 50,000 soldiers over its current 1 million — in order to meet its many overseas commitments, including the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Army already is on a path to add 30,000 soldiers, but even that will be hard to achieve if recruiters cannot persuade more to join the service.

Officials insist the slump is not a crisis.

Although it was hard to hear their words while they had their heads stuck in the sand.

Well boys, we're fucked. It's become increasingly obvious to even the most knuckleheaded American that the president lied us into an unwinnable war, we're closing in on 2,000 U.S. troops being buried, the soldiers that have managed to avoid being killed thus far have no armor on their vehicles or bodies to protect them, and support for the war has all but vanished. So how, how, how do we get kids to put their asses on the line for this Big Lie? What do we use?

Why, the rock and roll music that the kids seem to like.

Yes, now you too can sign up to be relentlessly hounded contacted by a recruiter for the National Guard, and you'll receive...three free songs from iTunes!

Wow! What a deal! So come on! Fill up that new iPod Nano.... we know you've all got one... after all, you're all dripping with disposable income, right?

The factors working against the Army, Hilferty said, are a strong national economy that offers young people other choices, and "continued negative news from the Middle East." To offset that the Army has vastly increased the number of recruiters on the street, offered bigger signup bonuses and boosted advertising.

See? So come on! Be all that you can be! After all, with all the sub-par corporate-created "music" being churned out these days, we're sure you'll find something you like! And aren't three shitty songs worth dying for?

Just don't get that desert sand in your iPod. Fucks with the hard drive.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Crooks & Liars. You might think I'm cross-posting, All I want is you!)