Dare to Discipline: A Moment for Mom

As promised, I’d like now to share with you some more wisdom from the very knowledgeable Dr. James Dobson. First, I’ll introduce you to the good doctor’s explanation of why, exactly, Mom needs “a moment,” occasionally:

It is not uncommon for a mother, particularly, to feel overwhelmed by the complexity of her parental assignment. For each child she raises, she is the primary protector of his health, education, intellect, personality, character, and emotional stability. She must serve as physician, nurse, psychologist, teacher, minister, cook, and policeman. Since she is with the children longer each day than her husband, she is the chief disciplinarian and main giver of security and love. She will not know whether or not she is handling these matters properly until it is too late to change her methodology. Furthermore, Mom’s responsibilities extend far beyond her children. She must also meet her obligations to her husband, her church, her relatives, her friends, and in some cases, her employer.

That’s a lot of shit, huh?! And he doesn’t even mention some of the really important stuff, like Mom’s responsibility to keep the house shiny clean and smelling lemon-fresh or making sure the oil is just the right temperature for cleansing Dad’s feet with her uncut hair when he gets home from the salt mines.

A foolish, non-Christian woman might think that perhaps Dad could help out with some of this stuff, rather than expecting Mom to be an indentured servant, but that’s just stinkin’ thinkin’. If Dad had to wash a dish or change a diaper, he might not have enough energy to get it up for Mom’s nightly duty of servicing him orally. Instead, these are Dr. Dobson’s recommendation for Mom:

1. Reserve some time for yourself.

It is important for a mother to put herself on the priority list, too. At least once a week she should go bowling or shopping, or simply “waste” an occasional afternoon… Even more important is the protection and maintenance of romance in her marriage. A husband and wife should have a date every week or two… A woman finds life much more enjoyable if she knows she is the sweetheart, and not just the wife, of her husband.

2. Don’t struggle with things you can’t change.

The first principle of mental health is to learn to accept the inevitable… Life has enough difficult crises in it without magnifying our troubles during good times, yet happiness is often surrendered for such insignificant causes. I wonder how many women are miserable today because they do not have something which either wasn’t invented or wasn’t fashionable just fifty years ago.

3. Don’t deal with any big problems late at night.

When husbands and wives discuss finances or other family problems in the wee small hours, they are asking for trouble… Tension and hostility can be avoided by simply delaying important topics until morning. A good night’s sleep and a rich cup of coffee can go a long way toward defusing the problem.

4. Try making a list.

When the work load gets particularly heavy there is comfort to be found in making a list of the duties to be performed…

5. Seek divine assistance.

The concepts of marriage and parenthood were not human inventions. God, in His infinite wisdom, created and ordained the family as the basic unit of procreation and companionship…

“He (the father) must have proper authority in his own household, and be able to control and command the respect of his children. (For if a man cannot rule in his own house how can he look after the Church of God?)” — I Timothy 3:4-5

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” — Proverbs 22:15

“Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” — Proverbs 23:13-14

Those aren’t all the verses the good doctor shares, but most of them are just more of the “obey Dad and beat the kids” variety, so I figured you’d gotten the gist.

I hope this has been helpful to all you parents out there, especially the moms, who now know how to take a moment for themselves. Have fun bowling! But don’t pretend the pins are your husband and kids; it wouldn’t be Christian.

Next time: “Teaching Respect and Responsibility to Children,” and how “human beings have some of the same perceptual inadequacies” as frogs.