The Nerve

Via The Heretik, who offers a lovely picture of Humpty Dumbty you should check out, here’s Cheney’s statement on the indictments (interspersed with my italicized translations):

Mr. Libby has informed me that he is resigning to fight the charges brought against him. I have accepted his decision with deep regret.

I put on my shit-kickers and busted that fucking idiot’s skinny ass out the door, because peckerheads who get caught are of no use to me.

Scooter Libby is one of the most capable and talented individuals I have ever known. He has given many years of his life to public service and has served our nation tirelessly and with great distinction.

That kid was a pretty good little minion, though, while he lasted. He woulda dropped down on his knees and sucked my wrinkled old fatty if I’d asked him to. Damn if that Prettyboy Fitzgerald don’t even know the half of the scummy shit that dickhead pulled for me.

In our system of government an accused person is presumed innocent until a contrary finding is made by a jury after an opportunity to answer the charges and a full airing of the facts. Mr. Libby is entitled to that opportunity.

Thank Christ it ain’t me headed for the bighouse. Seeya, Scooter. Don’t drop the soap, kiddo.

Because this is a pending legal proceeding, in fairness to all those involved, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on the charges or on any facts relating to the proceeding.

Screw the resta yas. I’m not saying anything, and I’m not going anywhere. And no matter how much you hate it, whether you run me outta here or I retire with my fat white butt having escaped the jail cell it so richly deserves, I’ll be flush with Halliburton options and I’ll be laughing all the way to the bank. Suckers.