New Crush

As I’ve mentioned, I’m serial television’s worst nightmare. No matter how much I enjoy a show, I’m more likely to forget to watch it than remember—and when missing an episode can mean being totally lost the next time one tunes in, it makes for a distinct lack of interest on my part.

For that reason, I love self-contained shows like Law & Order, where you can watch any episode from any season at any time and not be missing key plot points. Every important plot point is unique to each episode. So I don’t know how I missed out on CSI for so long, but I’ve started watching the occasional episode, and I have a new crush.


The delicious Gary Dourdan.
Over Thanksgiving weekend, I mentioned to my sister, Bug, that I had developed a nasty, bosom-heaving crush on the delectable Mr. Dourdan, and she nodded, wide-eyed, in recognition. “Oh, yes.” Her, too.

Mr. Shakes and Mr. Bug scowled.

Last night, I was watching a repeat of CSI on Spike (“Because Cock was too obvious”) TV, and Mr. Shakes said, “All right—where’s this dude you’re all hot for?”

I pointed him out.

“Him?” Mr. Shakes asked, skeptically. Then he noticed the lines around Dourdan’s eyes; I’m a sucker for lines around the eyes. “Okay, so he’s got the eye lines. Big deal.”

“He makes me pant,” I said.

“Harrumph,” Mr. Shakes replied.

Sorry Karl Urban. You’ve been replaced.