Jesus Appears in Sheet Metal

Holly passes on this article, probably because she knows I’m a fan of holy folks presenting their visages on trees, more trees, wardrobes, water stains, grilled cheese sandwiches, potato chips, and all manner of everyday objects.

Thomas Haley was unloading supplies for his job at Hardy's Hardware when he said something odd caught his eye: the face of Jesus Christ on a piece of sheet metal.

Now, Haley and a co-worker are hawking the holy hardware on eBay, hoping potential bidders will agree that the blurry oil stain on the sheet metal does, indeed, resemble Jesus…

Haley said that whatever money is raised will be split between him, Jackson, another worker, and two customers. But he's still a little ambivalent about the sale.

"I feel kind of bad just pawning off Christ," Haley said.

But not bad enough to not do it. I found the listing on eBay, if you’re interested. You can “Buy It Now” for the reasonable price of $10,000. So far, bidding has reached $510.

Haley said he was unloading a supply truck two weeks ago at the Manchester hardware store when he turned a corner and was awe-struck by the holy likeness gazing back at him from the $15.49 piece of sheet metal.

Since then, Haley and 18-year-old co-worker Jonathan Jackson have shown the piece to a few other workers and customers, and even took it on a short pilgrimage to a nearby hair salon.

A pilgrimage to the local hair salon? Why a hair salon and not, oh I dunno, a church? I admit I don’t spend tons of times in either hair salons or churches, but as far as I’m aware, hair salons haven’t become the arbiter of all things holy, right?

They say several people agreed with their assessment, although a few suggested it looks more like legendary rock singer Jim Morrison of The Doors.

"Some people said, 'Are you sure it's Jesus?' and I think, 'Who else would come to give us a sign, Groucho Marx?' " Jackson said.

I actually think that’s a good question. In truth, it’s why I find these appearances so interesting. Why wouldn’t Groucho Marx appear in a piece of sheet metal, or a hedge, or a turnip? Is there’s a heavenly rule that no one but the holy family is allowed to engage in these little bits of earthly performance art? Are they mad about being sold on eBay? And why would they do it? Doesn’t this, in some way, undermine the principle that Christians are meant to see God in everything? If this is a genuine message from the above, it’s definitely a mixed one, at best.