Rumsfeld Horses Around

Visiting Morocco this weekend, Secretary of Defense and “horse enthusiast” Donald Rumsfeld got a tour of King Mohammed’s “elaborate, well-maintained ranch” and joked that he’s ready to chuck it all to be a horseman:

Donald Rumsfeld admired Arab stallions from the stables of Morocco's king being put through their paces, then jokingly offered to give up his job as U.S. defence secretary to manage the royal horse ranch…

Black, grey and chestnut stallions, some purchased in the United States, trotted and posed for Rumsfeld as royal employees presented him with sweets.

When I first read that, I assumed the “royal employees” were presenting the horses with sweets, like sugar cubes. But no—they were presenting Rumsfeld with sweets. Wasn’t that what was supposed to happen in Iraq? Just more mixed intelligence messages, I guess.

Ranch manager Amid Abdelhamid showed Rumsfeld such items as a saddle fashioned from crocodile skin and explained, among other things, the pros and cons of using frozen sperm to breed horses. He also told Rumsfeld of his travels searching to buy the world's best horses.

I hope there weren’t any discussions of human-animal hybrids, though!

"You've got the best job in the world," Rumsfeld told Abdelhamid. "Any time you want to trade jobs, I'll do it."

So go, you jackass. What’s the hold-up? The rest of us have been ready for you to be put out to pasture for years.

Is it just me, or is anyone else sick to fucking death of hearing about the leaders of our government parading around palatial estates talking about million-dollar animals, or flouncing about in private fields shooting animals, or taking lavish international golf trips, or shoe-shopping while NOLA drowns, or spending egregious amounts of leisure time clearing brush outside a mansion-cum-ranch? I never thought I’d miss news reports about the president making trips to McDonald’s.

Fuck every last one of these hillbilly Gatsbys and their Lollipop Gilded Age.