But what about The Button?!

Laura Bush says America is ready for a female president—and you know whatever she says is gold, bitches.

During an exchange with reporters, Mrs. Bush was asked if the United States was prepared to have a woman in the Oval Office.

"Sure, absolutely," she replied. "I'm voting for the Republican woman."

(She also complimented women in the condescending, wow-you’ve-exceeded-my-expectations sort of way that conservatives love—“top-drawer blacks”—while viewing an exhibit at the National Museum of Women in the Arts featuring archaeological finds from Mexico and Peru that reveal women used to be “warriors, governors, artists, poets, and priestesses” long before the Europeans landed on these shores. She noted that the exhibit “really show[s] what a heritage we have in our hemisphere, a really very, very organized and intellectual society.” Wev. Let’s get back to this whole Republican female president thing.)

First of all, the social conservative base of the GOP doesn’t want to give women equality, so I can’t imagine their bestowing the authoritarian leadership they prefer in a president upon a woman in a million zillion years. When patriarchy is your preferred model of societal organization, you vote for Daddy, not Mommy.

But leaving electability concerns aside for a moment, let’s just say that America were ready for a Republican female president. Who the hell would be on that shortlist?

Condi Rice.

That is indeed a very short shortlist.

Maybe, maybe, Elizabeth Dole has the national cachet to mount a halfway viable presidential run. I can’t think of anyone else. There’s no shortage of prominent female wingnuts, but Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin and Phyllis Schlafly aren’t exactly presidential material. (Not that that stopped Mr. Laura Bush, but at least he had a faux governorship and an authentic former president for a dad on his scorecard.) I’ve never even heard of either of the two current female GOP governors—M. Jodi Rell of Connecticut or Linda Lingle of Hawaii. I also can’t remember the last time a Republican woman ran in the presidential primaries or was put on a presidential ticket.

Now, granted, the Dems don’t do much better here, but aside from their presumptive nominee, Hillary Clinton, their House Minority Speaker is Nancy Pelosi, they’ve had a female VP candidate in my lifetime, Geraldine Ferraro, they had a female presidential candidate in the last election, Carol Moseley-Braun, and, with no small thanks to the likes of the O’Reillys, Hannitys, and Limbaughs of the world, Barbara Boxer has gotten lots of national exposure in the past couple of years. I recognize the names of all but one (Ruth Ann Miner) of the six current female Dem governors—the other five being Janet Napolitano, Kathleen Sebelius, Kathleen Blanco, Jennifer Granholm, and Christine Gregoire. It’s not exactly a spectacular record, but it beats the GOP by more than a nose.

So, it’s nice that Mrs. Bush is keen to vote for a Republican woman and all, but I sincerely doubt it’s going to happen anytime soon. Maybe if the GOP stopped being so hostile to women, they might have a wider field from which to choose a female candidate.