McCain Falwell

You know those formulaic romantic comedies where the two protagonists start out hating each other, lobbing invectives and rolling their eyes, storming off in huffs and swearing how much they despise one another, until, eventually, they realize they are perfect complements and then they fall head over heels in love?

This is one of those stories.

It’s about a feisty POW named John and a crackpot preacher named Jerry. When they first met, John called Jerry “an agent of intolerance” who exerts an "evil influence" over the GOP. Jerry sniffed that John was just a Republican in sheep’s clothing. But soon, the passion of their feuding began to fuel the flames of love, and now it’s only a matter of time before John’s sporting a glimmering rock on his left hand. In fact, if a little plot device known as the Surprise Engagement at the Big Event doesn’t play out when John speaks at Jerry’s university’s graduation, this just won’t be the perfect wee drip of romantic treacle it’s been shaping up to be.

[McCain]…will be Liberty University’s graduation speaker on May 13.

McCain’s visit to the LU campus is, at the very least, an attempt to make peace with conservative Christians prior to the presidential campaign.

While running against then- Gov. George W. Bush in the South Carolina and Virginia primaries in 2000, McCain denounced Falwell and Virginia Beach televangelist Pat Robertson in what was seen as a move to lure more moderate voters to his campaign.

“Neither party should be defined by pandering to the outer reaches of American politics and the agents of intolerance, whether they be Louis Farrakhan or Al Sharpton on the left or Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell on the right,” McCain said at the time.

McCain lost the Virginia and South Carolina primaries and Bush won the nomination…

“He is in the process of healing the breech with evangelical groups,” Falwell said…

Aside from their political skirmishes, Falwell said McCain is an authentic American hero.

“On this, everybody agrees,” he said.

Ahh, true love. And in the true mold of such familiar confections, there’s going to be one last twist before the Happily Ever After. Jerry says that John has reversed his position and is now willing to support a Federal Marriage Amendment. The issue is, of course, near and dear to their respective constituencies, but what does it mean for their future?! Will they choose service over love? Oh, how will it end?! I can’t wait… Somebody get me some popcorn.

(Hat tip to Griffin.)