Stephen Colbert has Balls as Big as Church Bells

If you didn't see Colbert at the White House Correspondence dinner, you missed something truly amazing. Keep an eye on Crooks & Liars for video; the dinner will be re-broadcast as well. We'll post more info as soon as we get it. [UPDATE: Watch the whole thing here.]

Seriously, it was fucking amazing. Gannon reference and everything! And Prezint Obvious Body Language couldn't get out of that room fast enough.

TIVO it. Record it. You'll want it for posterity.

(Here's the Gannon picture)

Update: It's re-running right now. Turn on C-Span!

More Update: The talk right now is that "Colbert Bombed." Well, yes, of course, the laughter was sparse. But it's difficult to laugh when the truth hurts so much, yes? Again, just watch Bush as he exits. His face says it all.

Even More Update: We are not amused!

Colbert, who spoke in the guise of his talk show character who ostensibly supports the president strongly, urged the president to ignore his low approval ratings, saying they were based on reality, “and reality has a well-known liberal bias.”

He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. “This administration is soaring, not sinking,” he said. “They are re-arranging the deck chairs--on the Hindenburg.”

Colbert told Bush he could end the problem of protests by retired generals by refusing to let them retire. He compared Bush to Rocky Balboa in the “Rocky” movies, always getting punched in the face—“and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world.”

He also made biting cracks about missing WMDs, “photo ops” on aircraft carriers, and Vice President Cheney shooting people in the face.

Shakes here… I’m horning in on Spudsy’s post just to keep things in one thread. First of all, Spudsy’s right. Colbert must have two Liberty Bells knocking together down there, and each time they knock together, I bet they chime: “Fuck. Bush. Fuck. Bush.”

So, around 10:00 or so, Spudsy calls me and tells me what he’s just seen. I tune in to the rebroadcast, not remotely prepared, even after Spudsy’s great description, for the carnage I then witness. Colbert was like a fucking pitbull who latched onto Bush’s jugular and proceeded to gnaw on it for 15 minutes, then turned on the press and slaughtered them, too. It was fucking unbelievable. It was brutal, painful to watch. No one was laughing, because it wasn’t funny. It was the fucking truth—and it was awesome.

Throughout the entire thing, he would periodically look evenly at Bush, holding his gaze and addressing him directly as “Mr. President.” Bush looked back at him with a face of stone (save for one time when Colbert flubbed a set-up). Standing in front of a room full of people who didn’t, couldn’t, laugh, letting them have it with everything he’s got, sweating bullets, Colbert would look dead at Bush and never blink. It was so brave.

I can’t recall anyone so forthrightly addressing the president like that, holding such a harsh mirror in front of his nose, except for perhaps Colbert’s obvious co-conspirator Helen Thomas, whose life has been spent questioning presidents. Who the fuck is Colbert?! I couldn’t fucking believe I was watching Chuck Noblet take down the president and the press so pitilessly. Good Christ, I was so proud of him, I nearly exploded.

So, without further ado, Shakespeare’s Sister Presents the Brass Balls Award to…

Stephen Colbert, True American Patriot


He doesn’t just play a fake patriot on TV;
Colbert’s the real deal, bitchez.