Breaking News: Americans Don’t Like Being Treated Like $2 $100 Whores

The GOP’s awesome plan to bribe voters before the midterm elections with $100 “gas rebate” checks has—surprise!—has been met with derision and contempt from the very people whose favor it was meant to curry.

Aides for several Republican senators reported a surge of calls and e-mail messages from constituents ridiculing the rebate as a paltry and transparent effort to pander to voters before the midterm elections in November.

"The conservatives think it is socialist bunk, and the liberals think it is conservative trickery," said Don Stewart, a spokesman for Senator John Cornyn, Republican of Texas, pointing out that the criticism was coming from across the ideological spectrum.

Angry constituents have asked, "Do you think we are prostitutes? Do you think you can buy us?" said another Republican senator's aide, who was granted anonymity to openly discuss the feedback because the senator had supported the plan.

Conservative talk radio hosts have been particularly vocal. "What kind of insult is this?" Rush Limbaugh asked on his radio program on Friday. "Instead of buying us off and treating us like we're a bunch of whores, just solve the problem." In commentary on Fox News Sunday, Brit Hume called the idea "silly."

Jeebus, when even Rush Limbaugh and Brit Hume, who willingly whore themselves on behalf of the GOP on a daily basis, are criticizing the plan, you know it’s bad.

The question is: How out of touch is the GOP that they even momentarily considered it a good idea to leave $100 on every American’s nightstand after using and abusing them for five long years? Good night.

Oh, pardon me. Not every American. Only those making an adjusted gross income less than $146,000 (or couples earning less than about $219,000)—even if they didn’t own a car!

David Winston, a Republican pollster who advises the Senate Republican leadership, called the rebate an intuitive way to show voters that Republicans were on their side. "It is like putting the American family budget ahead of oil company profits," Mr. Winston said. "How do you help the American families out? Well, give them some money."

Cripes. The thing I love most about this crackpot scheme is that, thanks to Bush’s “permanent tax cuts” for the wealthy and constant pandering to corporations with allowable tax dodges, it’s the poor schlubs (like me!) eligible for the $100 checks who would be footing the lion’s share of the bill for it in the long term, anyway. I’ve already got a credit card, thanks.