"Impeach Bu... uh, wait, let me think about this one..."

He's not paranoid... they ARE out to get him!


Every once in a while, when discussing the impeachment of Dear Leader, someone inevitably makes the comment: "Sure I'd love to impeach Bush, but the idea of President Cheney scares the crap out of me." Joking, dead serious, you've heard it before. But I've always rejected this mindset, simply because for all intents and purposes, Cheney is the president. Bush has always liked to walk around in his big boy pants and look like he's the Leader of the Free World, but behind the scenes, we know who's really running the show. Cheney's the one with World Domination on his mind.

And that ain't good.

The guy is seriously paranoid. Nixon-level paranoid. And he seems to be getting worse. Much has been made of his extreme secrecy, in fact, it's a secret how much he's keeping secret. The man is obsessed with keeping the world in the dark; one could say it's bordering on ridiculous.

Actually, it's looking like it's crossed the border, and has moved into a snug little bungalow in a nice (undisclosed, of course) area of town. Surrounded by barbed wire, attack dogs, and sharks with frickin' laser beams in their heads.

Purdum reports that Cheney travels with a chemical-biological suit at all times. When he gave his friend Robin West and his twin children a ride to the White House a couple of years ago, West commented on the fact that Cheney’s motorcade varied its daily path. “And he said, ‘Yeah, we take different routes so that “The Jackal” can’t get me,’” West tells Purdum. “And then there was this big duffel bag in the middle of the backseat, and I said, ‘What’s that? It’s not very roomy in here.’ And [Cheney] said, ‘No, because it’s a chemical-biological suit,’ and he looked at it and said, ‘Robin, there’s only one. You lose.’”

This is scary stuff, indeed. For those of you under 40ish, "The Day of the Jackal" was a Frederick Forsyth thriller, made into a 1973 movie, that follows an assassin's attempt to kill Charles DeGaulle (Spoiler alert: He misses...duh). For some men, four heart attacks might trigger a kind of fatalism, but the Cheney effect seems to be the reverse, an over-the-top survivalist instinct -- no doubt worsened by his many months brooding in "undisclosed locations" -- and the growing belief that people are out to get him on every street corner.

Much is going to be made in the days and weeks to come regarding the current fuzzy story revealing Cheney's acceptance of his daughter's coming out. Somehow, I think the fact that Cheney won't leave his house without a biohazard suit, and thinks he's living in a 70's thriller movie is the more important story. But that's just me.

Remember the baseball game bulletproof vest rumors? Maybe those poll numbers are affecting him more than we realize.

"President Cheney." Now that phrase does give me chills.

Update: More from Com. Agi.

(Energy Dome tip to Dependable Renegade. When the moon hits your cross-post like a big pizza pie...)