teens, sex, and strap-ons to save the day

ABC's Primetime aired an episode last night called "Teen Girls Discuss Their Sex Lives". They got 14 teenagers together for a sleepover and let the girls talk. Their parents were able to watch and react. The results were completely unsurprising.

"Primetime," along with Seventeen magazine, recruited a group of girls to participate in a sleepover to talk about what sex means in their lives. Their parents also participated, by joining the group later to see what their daughters had said.

The parents said that, for the most part, they had an open relationship with their children and talked about sex.

According to an ABC News poll, about 90 percent of parents nationwide say they've spoken to their teens about sex. Only half of their teens agree. So whatever parents think is "the sex talk," it doesn't seem to register with their kids.

This doesn't surprise me in the least. Parents shouldn't have The Sex Talk. They should have multiple talks starting when kids are young because by the time kids are at an age where sex is something they're considering, one big talk (or two) is not going to make much difference.

For many girls, kissing — still known as "first base" — begins at 11 or 12. While several studies say that actual intercourse among teens is on the decline, there is an increase in other types of sexual activity — including oral sex. By 16, nearly a quarter of teenage girls have engaged in oral sex.

This seems about right to me. Do these things really change with time? Don't we see these exact stories (with slight variation) come out every few years?

Most of the girls seemed to agree that if you had oral sex with a boy, you could still be a virgin.

I tend to agree with this. Fellatio and cunnalingus are not intercourse, thus a person is still technically a virgin. But is the person virginal? Not really. What do you think?

The ABC News poll showed an astonishing 70 percent of teens said their first time had been unplanned, such as Tiffany, who was 14 when she lost her virginity.

I don't know about "astonishing", I mean c'mon now--teenagers. Giant walking hormones. Succombing to a moment of (new, exciting!) lust and passion isn't exactly surprising. Anyhow, this is another reason that one or two big sex talks just won't cut it. Preparing kids for finding themselves in these situations takes so much more than that and those "abstinence only" folks are doing their kids a mighty disservice. I'd like to think that shows like this (particularly the statistic of 70% above) would wake the abstinence people up. More than likely though, they'll just say it's because of eeeeevil society and bury themselves further in the sand.

So what do the boys have to say?

"And if the girl gets with all these guys. … If she had sex with everyone, [she's] like a bike that gets a ride," said one boy Johnny, with a laugh.

"No one wants to get with a girl like that," said another boy.

The old double-standard of guys who sleep around are "players" and girls are whores.

More about the sleepover, including sex parties and the parents' reactions here.

Meanwhile, a writer for Mens News Daily has come up with a solution for the problem of teen sex, STDs, pregnancy (and abortions): dildos!

Adolescent girls get pregnant. They have abortions and babies. They receive contraceptives. Depending on the law of the state, they may be able to terminate pregnancies or get birth control without a parent’s knowledge or permission. Both teenage boys and girls can buy condoms over the counter.

However, adolescent girls and boys cannot legally go into an adult bookstore to purchase sex toys. A parent or guardian who supplies such items could be prosecuted for enticement or contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

This is outrageous. Sex toys can be an aid to chastity by making it possible for people to gratify their often strong, even overpowering, physical needs without a partner. Such products should be at least as available to minors as contraceptives.

This is a whole new view that I've never considered. I mean, I certianly have nothing against masturbation being promoted (encouraged?) as a healthy sexual activity to aid in physical pleasure that avoids all the issues about sex. I've just never thought of sex toys as part of a contraception peer group, if you will.

Not just any ol' dildo will do either, it must be a "strap-on with clitoral stimulator" and be given to the teen when he/she starts dating. You see, it's not just masturbation though, that the author is talking about. She believes that encouraging young women/men to tell their partners that instead of regular ol' sex, let's do it this way and avoid any STDs or babies:

While it is best for adolescents to avoid any type of partnered sexual activity, the penetration of a male by a female wearing a strap-on dildo is far safer than the more usual sex acts. Transmitting sexually transmitted diseases generally requires skin-to-skin contact.

[...]

A teen girl who possesses a strap-on may suggest to boys that they perform a sex act that is kinkier but far safer than the ones boys usually suggest to girls. Boys can be expected to differ greatly in their reactions to such suggestions. Some are certain to Just Say No. Others will enthusiastically answer, “Yes!” Many, perhaps most, will balk as the girl coaxes (sound familiar?). However, none will get pregnant. [...]

Of course, a strap-on dildo could be inserted into a girl by a boy or into a girl by another girl or into a boy by a boy.While no sex toy should ever go from an anus to a vagina, these uses would also cause fewer problems than the more common sex acts among youths.[...]

The author goes on to say that this is "not a part of the 'war on boys'", infact, it is "man loving". (When were dildos man hating?):

By reducing the numbers of young men who father children they are unable to support, we will help them avert jail when they come of age. Financial destitution is not necessarily a legal defense for the failure to pay child support so fathers with low incomes often end up behind bars. They can be raped in jail. A sexual assault while incarcerated may leave a man psychologically traumatized and infected with an STD, including life-threatening HIV.

Use a strap-on! Save a young man from prison rape! Ok, it's not a funny subject but, really, the set-up is just so dramatic.

And, of course, there are other benefits to giving your teen daughter a strap-on: patience! She will learn the patience needed to perfect sexual technique and be ready for marriage and motherhood. No, seriously--marriage and motherhood:

If she should in fact use it with a boy who is a “backdoor virgin,” she must practice patience if she is to make the experience a good one for her partner as well as herself. Practice is a positive virtue in people of either sex and especially necessary for (eventual) motherhood (should she chose that role). Both sexes get to see, and feel, “how the other half lives” which could increase their empathy for the other gender and be a valuable preparation for heterosexual matrimony.

I did not know that strap-ons posessed so much educational value (and they save young men's lives). Who knew!

So, there you go. Maybe if that 70% just had a strap-on (with clit stimulator!) they wouldn't have done it. Or something.


(hey baby, why don't we use this cross-post instead...)