O’Reilly Cries for Rush

Such an outpouring of sympathy touches the cockles of my hardened heart:

Fox News host Bill O'Reilly is coming to the defense of his radio competitor Rush Limbaugh, claiming authorities in Palm Beach County, Fla., are "out to get" the conservative talk-show host, and are maliciously targeting him for prosecution.

"He is an American," O'Reilly said of Limbaugh last night on "The O'Reilly Factor," "and I believe powerful people in his home county are trying unjustly to harm him."

He then dabbed at his alligator tears with a monogrammed hankie and reminded al-Qaida they should blow up San Francisco.

O'Reilly noted it was unusual authorities checked the shaving kits of people flying on private planes...

Really? That’s interesting. See, I’m one of the dirty-faced rabble who have to fly on commercial airliners, and everything down to my manicure kit gets checked, so I only assumed that people who were flying in from outside the country, even on private planes, would be subject to the same rules. But hey—my mistake. I forgot that being rich meant you couldn’t possibly be a terrorist.

Or does that rule only apply to rich white guys?

I mean, I kind of dig the logic. Why would bellicose, bloviating fucks like O'Reilly or Limbaugh want to do anything to destroy perhaps the only country in the world where their insolent, antipathetic, avaricious asses could make millions of dollars disgorging bucketfuls of mindless mendacity day after day? Smart guys like that don't rip up their meal tickets. Nonetheless, I still find it curious that it's "unusual" for the belongings of "people flying on private planes" to be checked by authorities—and rather ironic that anyone who's made a bloody mint shilling for an administration who would strip us of every last shred of privacy would moan about being subjected to the same security measures as the rest of us.