Just When I Think You Couldn't Possibly be any Dumber, You Go and Do Something Like This...

...and totally redeem yourself! Chicago, I officially forgive you for recent silliness.

Chicago Orders "Big Box" Stores to Raise Wages
Right on.

After months of fevered lobbying and bitter debate, the Chicago City Council passed a groundbreaking ordinance yesterday requiring “big box” stores, like Wal-Mart and Home Depot, to pay a minimum wage of $10 an hour by 2010, along with at least $3 an hour worth of benefits.

The ordinance, imposing the requirement on stores that occupy more than 90,000 square feet and are part of companies grossing more than $1 billion annually, would be the first in the country to single out large retailers for wage rules.

A gallery packed with supporters of the bill broke into cheers as the measure passed, by a vote of 35 to 14, after four hours of intense speeches and debate.

This is fantastic. One step closer to a living wage. And benefits! Good heavens, get me to the fainting couch, I do believe I have the vapors.

Of course, this can't go on without a visit from the Waaaaaaahhhhmbulance.

Wal-Mart’s response to the Council’s action was swift and blunt.

“It’s sad — this puts politics ahead of working men and women,” John Simley, a Wal-Mart spokesman, said in a telephone interview. “It means that Chicago is closed to business.”

You gotta love his chutzpah. Yes, treating workers with dignity, paying them a reasonable wage, and giving them the bare scraps of benefits is detrimental to working men and women. Excuse me while I whip this out**:

Chicago is not closed to business. We just don't like your brand of business.

Wal-Mart will still open its nearly completed branch on Chicago’s West Side in September — the company’s first store in the city — but any future plans “will likely change,” Mr. Simley said.

And that would be such a shame. Chicago doesn't need your goddamn stores, Simley. Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

In arguing that Wal-Mart and other companies can easily afford to meet the new standards, proponents of the measure pointed to Costco, which says it already pays at least $10 an hour plus benefits to starting workers around the country.

Which is why I shop at Costco, and not Sam's Club. And just about everyone I know that has a Costco membership does it for the same reason. Getting the picture, Simley?

In existing stores in the Chicago area, Wal-Mart pays entry-level wages of about $7.25 an hour but its average pay is $11 an hour, a company spokesman told The Chicago Tribune. The company has not revealed details of its benefits.

Alakazam! (PDF file)

There's lots of the usual "this will stifle growth" talk, but I for one am happy to finally see a positive step forward in the Living Wage march. Bravo, Chicago.

** Image mercilessly stolen from Pam's place; you should be
reading it daily. (Sorry Pam, I couldn't find a better image! And I'm lazy.)

Cross-posts are attacking the city!