Relax, Hippies...

...there won't be any freaky clowns to scare you when you're tripping your balls off.

LONDON (AFP) - Organisers of a rock festival have been forced to change its circus theme after a number of ticketholders told them they had a phobia of clowns.

The "Bestival" event on the Isle of Wight, off England's south coast, in early September was to have encouraged festival-goers to dress up in curly red wigs and oversized shoes.

Look, it's bad enough that clowns exist in the first place. To encourage people to dress and behave like these greasepainted lunatics is just irresponsible. Shame on you, concert promoters!

(And who's brilliant idea was that, anyway? "Yeah, we've having this huge psychedelic rock show... how can we really get everyone into it? I know... we'll encourage them to dress up like clowns. Nothing says "rock" like bozo hair and huge floppy shoes!")

Last year's "Cowboys or Indians" theme broke a world record for the biggest fancy dress party when 10,000 people turned up in disguise.

But organisers feared thousands of clowns in one place could spark mass panic in the psychedelic atmosphere of the festival, which is popular with so-called "nouveaux hippies", the Times newspaper said Saturday.

Thousands of clowns in one place. Holy crap... if that isn't a sign of the world ending, I don't know what is. And yeah, if I had just dropped enough acid to kill a wildebeest, "mass panic" is a mild description of how I'd react if I suddenly found myself surrounded by a ton of fucking clowns.

Fear of clowns -- or coulrophobia -- has symptoms including shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, nausea, sweating and a sense of foreboding, The Times pointed out.

Heavy make-up and bulbous noses, plus negative childhood memories of the supposed funnymen and women, are thought to be the root cause.

Well, that, and the fact that they're fucking creepy and horrific could also be a little instigator.

Say it with me, folks... Clowns and Drugs Just Don't Mix.

(This post is especially for Shakespeare's Sister, who hates clowns as much as I do. Actually, she probably never made it past the image at the top of the post, and is currently hiding under a blanket, whimpering.)

(When you cross-post down here with me...you'll float too!)