USA! USA!

Yay for us!

The Pentagon made public a memo today that says captured enemy combatants like the Guantanamo detainees are to be given the protections of Common Article Three of the Geneva Convention.

After instituting by court order what we should have been doing all along, flag-wrapped members of the Bush administration then celebrated with a giant circle jerk and mutual orgasm, during which they screamed, “Best country in the world!” Rumor has it that during the wind-down in the steam room afterwards, Karl Rove took a long drag on his cigarette then launched into a rhapsodic dissertation on how “fucking wicked cool it would be if we could jizz red and blue, too.”