Because Books Make You Gay

No queer lit for you:

Webster Central School District officials have removed a gay-themed book from a summer reading list for high school students after receiving complaints from parents.

The book, Rainbow Boys, by Alex Sanchez, which was released in 2001, is about gay teen life. It won the International Reading Association's 2003 Young Adults' Choice award, and the American Library Association selected it as a Best Book for Young Adults.

The assistant superintendent, Ellen Agostinelli, pulled the book after she “got some telephone calls from parents complaining about the book,” although she won’t say how many. She also said that she read the book and has “some questions about it, as well,” but won’t say what those questions are. Instead, she just stated, “I’m not going to get into this.”

Mind you, the summer reading list isn’t required in full. It’s a selection of books from which students must read two books over the summer vacation. So, concerned parents could just tell their children not to read that one book, but that’s never good enough, of course. The book has to be removed from the reading list entirely.

And, honestly, I guess this is a good thing. I mean, my life has been so tumultuous with all the reading I do. I’ve been turned into all different races and religions. I’ve been turned into a man a bunch of times. Not to mention a dog, a horse, a bear, a lion, a rat of NIMH…just about every animal you can imagine. I became retarded after reading Flowers for Algernon, then autistic after reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. I’ve contracted all sorts of diseases from the pages of books—leukemia, AIDS, cancer, tuberculosis, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis—some of which aren’t even contagious unless you read about them. For awhile, Geek Love turned me into an albino dwarf, then Big Fish turned me into a giant. I finally just had to stop reading altogether.

Books would be really cool if only you could just read them, and maybe, like, empathize with the characters without forcibly being turned into something you’re not.

Oh well. Maybe someday.