The Killin'ist Place on Earth!

It's vacation time! Sure, you could take your kids to the usual places... Disney... Knotts Berry Farm... a wax museum in the Wisconsin Dells...

But why bother with those wimpy, latte drinkin' places when you can go to... ARMY WORLD!

FORT BELVOIR, Virginia (AP) -- The Army is considering a proposal to allow a private developer to build a military-themed park that would include Cobra Gunship rides and bars including a "1st Division Lounge."

[...]

"You can command the latest M-1 tank, feel the rush of a paratrooper freefall, fly a Cobra Gunship or defend your B-17 as a waist gunner," according to the proposal, which was obtained by The Washington Post.

Wooo! And that's just the beginning! You can also command the rape and slaughter of civilians, feel the rush of carpetbombing a city full of innocents, and collect ears for valuable prizes! Feel the warmth of blood as it splatters onto your face! Thrill to the sensation of being slipped into a body bag to be shipped home in the dead of night!

And what's the big complaint about this proposed Wonderful Playground of Fun and Joy?

Military officials said a massive entertainment and hotel complex built next to a national Army museum could draw more than 1 million people a year. But authorities in Fairfax County are objecting because of already traffic-clogged roads surrounding the proposed site.

Yep. Traffic.

You know, maybe if they took the money from this proposed project and... well... spent it on the military, things might get a little better for the real military.

So, take your kids to Army World, and let them blast the hell out of The Enemy! Army Recruitment kiosks are conveniently located next to the "1st Division Lounge," for when you get good 'n liquored up. Just keep them away from that evil rock and roll music. You never know how that's going to warp them.

(Tip 'o the Energy Dome to Dependable Renegade. I don't know but I've been told, this cross-post gag is gettin' old.)