“My kidney belongs to Christ.”

Conditional Christianity:

Aleta Smith, who donated her kidney to a 20-year-old college student last year, wants it back now that the student has changed religions.

Smith, a self-described "on-fire Christian," gave her kidney to Hannah Felks, a Lutheran and regular Christian camp counselor, last year after seeing Felks on the local news.

"She was going to die unless she got a kidney," Smith says, sitting on the porch at her home. "They portrayed her as this nice Christian girl who works with kids. I saw it as a great opportunity to help a sister in the Lord."

The surgery grabbed headlines and Smith was lauded for her selflessness.

Then everything went pear-shaped. Felks went on a “spiritual journey” which took her to three continents, and eventually settled on “a blend of Pagan and Hindu beliefs.” Shortly thereafter, she received a letter from Smith, who is now “on fire” for a different reason—because part of her body is “stuck inside a person who’s going to hell.” She’s plagued with nightmares of her former kidney having to filter “strange Asian teas, pig blood and witch doctor brews in Africa.” And then there are the niggling questions of whether she confused the Lord’s will for what was maybe just a “triple-espresso high” she had on the morning she decided to donate the kidney, and whether her body will now be incomplete when resurrected.

"I'm all for spiritual curiosity," [Smith] says, "but you've got to settle these things beforehand. My kidney belongs to Christ. It will never be Pagan."

Something tells me that the meaning of the Parable of the Good Samaritan is lost on Ms. Smith. Basic understandings of either Paganism or Hinduism seem lost to the same void. Then again, maybe she just needs to cut back on the caffeine.

(Hat tip Main and Central, via Fixer. And, btw, I guess I should make clear for those who aren't clicking through to the site, this is satire. A dodgy prospect, I guess, to introduce a funny site this way, since the line between satire and reality is so thin these days.)