Welcome to the Bed of Tomorrow!

The bed I use in my apartment has been in my family for a fairly long time; it was my parents' bed before it was mine (in fact, there’s even a chance I was conceived on it, which is Freudian in a way I’d rather not explore too thoroughly), and it was the only bed I had growing up. Vaguely unsettling psycho-sexual implications aside, it’s a good bed, except for one particular sticking point; the box spring and mattress were replaced a few years ago, and for some reason, the replacements are a few inches less wide than the originals. Which means they don’t rest quite as precisely as they used to, and I’m dependent upon the three boards which lie across the two metal runners connecting the head board to the- er- foot board.

It’s a precarious system, in no small part because the boards aren’t quite long enough to stay consistently on the slats. I was woken up one morning when the “top” board (the closest to the headboard) slipped off underneath me, leading to the corner of the bed collapsing to the floor. Which was a bit of a surprise. I’ve talked about taking the whole thing apart and just resting the box spring and mattress on the floor, but I’ve never had the patience to go through with it. Besides, it means every night is an adventure- will my bed stay together? Did I adjust things properly before I climbed onto the mattress, or will my tossing and turning knock anything lose? Will, god forbid, the boards ever break? (This might not sound adventurous- try humming the Indiana Jones theme while you read it.)

But that adventure may soon be over; provided, of course, that I have a spare couple million bucks lying around.

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A young Dutch architect has created a floating bed which hovers above the ground through magnetic force and comes with a price tag of 1.2 million euros ($1.54 million).

A floating bed, eh? Sounds pretty sweet to me. Great way to pick up women, too. “Hey baby, want to join the Floating Bed Club?”

Of course, it’s not entirely perfect:

"It is not comfortable at the moment," admits Ruijssenaars, adding it needs cushions and bedclothes before use.

Although people with piercings should have no problem sleeping on the bed, Ruijssenaars advises them against entering the magnetic field between the bed and the floor.

They could find their piercing suddenly tugged toward one of the magnets.

“Suddenly tugged.” Heh. Oh my, that doesn’t sound dangerous at all…