Denny “Pot O’ Crap” Hastert Takes Full No Responsibility

The Tyrannosaurus of Turpitude:

I understood what my staff told me, and I think from that response, they’ve handled it as well as they should. However, in 20/20 hindsight, probably you could do everything a little bit better. If there is a problem, if there was a cover up, then we should find that out through the investigation process. They’ll be under oath and we’ll find out. If they did cover something up, they should not continue to have their jobs. But I — but I didn’t think anybody at any time in my office did anything wrong. I found out about these revelations last Friday. That was the first information I had about it.
It’s always fun to work for a boss who blames you when his ass is in the hot seat. Especially when he’s a corrupt bumblefuck who would have long ago been the victim of his own incompetence, avarice, and dishonor if it weren’t for your having covered his giant, stinking butt for the entirety of your employ.



“I’da been right in there with Foley if it
weren’t for these damn small arms.”

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