All I Want for Christmas

This:

Actor Charlie Sheen is auctioning a letter of apology sent to him by movie legend Marlon Brando. The actor invited Brando to his 26th birthday party in 1991, but the heavyweight star - who appeared in Apocalpyse Now with Sheen's father Martin - was too ill to attend.

The letter reads, "I'm feeling like a very large turd on a very thin stick. I'm holed up in bed and taking everything from sled dog urine to powdered East Indian vulva. I really feel bad for not showing up at your birthday bash but I really feel shitty and best stay in bed. I'm sure it will be a kick in the ass, and I hate to miss it - Happiest of birthdays to you, Charlie."

The handwritten letter appears on auction site Lelands.com and has a reserve of $1,000, reports the New York Daily News.
Must have it.

I was never a swooning fan of Brando’s acting (or appearance) nearly as much as I was interested in him as a person. He was totally fucking bizarre in a way that appealed to me—wildly vulgar and eccentric, yet profoundly compassionate; deeply flawed and equal parts regretful and hopeful in his regard for those flaws; indifferent to critics, but responsive to legitimate criticism.

Anyway, I’m totally using “very large turd on a very thin stick” for the rest of my bloody life.

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