Crybaby Rumsfeld Heads Into the Sunset, Still as Delusional as Ever

Don’t let the door hitcha where evolution splitcha:

Leaving office soon, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld bade a sometimes emotional farewell, saying the single worst day of his nearly six years there was when he learned of the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse in Iraq.

That was a pretty crappy one for all the rest of us too, Donzo.

Rumsfeld choked up briefly while recalling a woman in Alaska giving him a bracelet last August as a reminder of the sacrifices by soldiers of the Army's 172nd Stryker Brigade, whose year-long tour in Iraq was extended by four months to help try to quell sectarian violence in Baghdad. Showing it still on his wrist, Rumsfeld recalled that he told the woman he would wear the green bracelet until the 172nd came home.

And then, I’m not making this up, although it sounds like one of the fake additions I typically employ, he launched into a homily on how the US needs to have the “patience and…staying power” to remain in Iraq and Afghanistan indefinitely. So, I can only assume Rumsfeld has left instructions he’s to be buried in that bracelet.

"As I leave at the end of my second - and, good Lord willing, my last - (term) I do leave believing as I did 30 years ago that America is a truly great nation, that the American people are wise and decent," he said.

Hmm. Your opinion of some other people seems to have changed, though…

He was introduced on the stage by Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, who lauded Rumsfeld as a man of courage, integrity and vision.

"This man's work ethic is incredible," Pace said. "Is he demanding? You bet." Rumsfeld then interrupted, saying with a laugh, "No! I've been on my best behavior."

Somebody get me a sick sack, because I’m gonna hurl.