Don't Cry for Them, America

I don't know about you, but I've been very concerned about the departing members of Congress who won't be back next time, wondering whatever will they do with themselves. "Will Mike DeWine land on his feet?" I wonder, laying awake at night, restless with anxiety. "Will there be a lux think tank job to cushion Jim Leach’s fall?" Luckily, the AP has found fit to assuage my plagued mind.

Rep. Mike Sodrel, a millionaire trucking magnate who lost to Baron Hill, the Democrat he beat two years ago, will "probably go home and drive a truck for a couple of weeks to get centered again." Rep. Sherwood Boehlert will be joining the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars. Rep. Jim Leach is "sifting through offers from prestigious East Coast universities—Georgetown, Harvard and Princeton among them—as well as schools in his Midwestern home state" of Iowa, and Sen. Mike DeWine is likewise talking to universities.

Meanwhile, Sen. Conrad Burns says he’s "the age where I'd like to enjoy my granddaughter," allowing us to fondly reminisce about his chronic failure to consider how something will sound once it's out of his mouth. And Sen. Bill Frist is "going to live in the very same house that I was born in 54 years ago," which sounds kind of charming until you realize it's only because his White House new house isn't ready yet. He also plans to "join missions overseas once more, as a doctor ministering to the poor," although it's not clear whether he'll be traveling or simply diagnosing via webcam.

Godspeed, gentlemen—and may the American workforce be as kind to you upon your return to its private ranks as you have been to the least of its workers.

(Crossposted at Ezra's place.)