Magical Mystery Meme: The Answering

(Original post here.)

#1: Mad Writing and Forgery Skillz—True. I inherited the ability to write upside-down, backwards, and upside-down-and-backwards from Mama Shakes, who thinks that most people can probably do it, but have never tried. I'm not sure from whence the expert forgery talent came, but the trick to it is that I have to watch someone writing to copy their script. There's something about seeing the way they hold the pen that unconsciously registers technique and pressure that I can then replicate. I can decently replicate a signature I didn't see written, but can't parlay that into writing anything in the same script.

#2: On the Cutting Room Floor of Mercury Rising—True. I've actually told that story here before, so long-time readers had an edge with that one. The reason I was waiting to leave the building was to go fill a prescription for antibiotics my doctor had just called in for me, because I was on death's door with a horrendous case of bronchitis. So I was already short-tempered from being so ill; being made to wait put me in a devilish mood.

#3: Can't Ride a Bike—False. Of course I can ride a bike! Everything I said was true, though, about the oversized bike and falling repeatedly. I fell so much, in fact, that Mama Shakes eventually fashioned me homemade knee- and elbow pads out of pairs of Papa Shakes' socks. Never gave up, though, in my usual tenacious way, and finally learned. And spent the rest of my childhood atop a bike.

#4: Egg Hatred—True. I'm not sure when or how my deeply held aversion to eggs developed, because I liked eggs when I was a kid. But somewhere along the way, I not only lost the taste for them, but actually began to be made sick by the mere smell or sight of cooked eggs. For many years, I couldn't even eat if someone else was eating eggs around me, but now that doesn't bother me so much. (Although I can't kiss Mr. Shakes after he's eaten eggs until he brushes his teeth.) I can, however, cook no problem with raw eggs—they don't bother me at all. And the only way I can explain the egg drop soup exception is that it really doesn't smell, look, or taste of cooked eggs to me.

#5: Lucky at Cards—True. Papa Shakes is an excellent card-player, and I seem to have acquired my luck and skill from him, along with the basics of gin rummy, Shanghai rummy, poker, blackjack, and blitz. (And about a dozen card tricks.) I think some people figured this one was bunk because I said "I regularly come up with absolutely extraordinary hands on the river," which may have read as though I'm not much of a player, waiting until the river to complete my hand. But if I still have a hand by the river, it's already a good hand, and so it's precisely as I said; the river often turns my three aces into an ace-over-kings full house, or my flush into a royal flush. If there's a single card that can make my good hand fantastic, it'll come up on the river—which is what drives Mr. Shakes to agitated distraction when we play.