The Magical Mystery Meme, Mr. Shakes Edition: The Reckoning

1) True. However, I neglected to tell you that the guy was very badly beaten, and had his arm in a cast. Don't fuck with the French police, people. That said, he was still a very big man and the five minutes the detectives were gone felt like a long time.

2) True.

3) False. Strange that everyone chose to place their lie in the third slot. Although alcohol did inspire me to have many weird and wonderful adventures back in the day, this particular debacle actually belongs to a friend of mine.

4) True. The boys and I had quite a summer, that year.

5) True. We asked Fox to put an announcement about the missing ring on their news ticker. They came around and interviewed us instead - it was a slow news day. We almost ended up on the morning chat show, but some big story broke and we were cancelled.

Thanks to everyone who played.

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Tagged by Tart. Four of these stories are true, and one is false. You have to guess which is false.

1) I was once robbed in my sleep by a homeless Frenchman. After his apprehension, the Gendarmes left me alone in a room with my 6'7" assailant while they went off for a cup of coffee and a croissant. One of the detectives left his sidearm on the table.

2) I once made a living selling goods door to door. Some of which were "hot," some not.

3) Once, after a heroic drunk, I crashed into a roundabout at a major intersection while cycling home at 3 in the morning. I awoke at noon the next day, prostrate on said roundabout, surrounded by traffic and sunburned down one side of my body.

4) Parties unknown once mailed a large shipment of narcotics to me by accident. My friends and I saw that it did not go to waste.

5) I lost Shakes' engagement ring two days before I was to propose to her. As a consequence of this I appeared on Fox News' local affiliate (seems that all the dummies end up there).