The Adventures of Georgie

Hep Cat



Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a decidin' man, no time to talk.

Georgie decided to visit the Caterpillar Plant in Peoria,
Illinois, where they make biiiiiiiiiiiiiig machines!



"Cool!"

Really big machines.



"Hey—can I drive it?!"



That's when the trouble started.

Touring a Caterpillar factory in Peoria, Ill., the Commander in Chief got behind the wheel of a giant tractor and played chicken with a few wayward reporters. Wearing a pair of stylish safety glasses--at least more stylish than most safety glasses--Bush got a mini-tour of the factory before delivering remarks on the economy. "I would suggest moving back," Bush said as he climbed into the cab of a massive D-10 tractor. "I'm about to crank this sucker up." As the engine roared to life, White House staffers tried to steer the press corps to safety, but when the tractor lurched forward, they too were forced to scramble for safety. "Get out of the way!" a news photographer yelled. "I think he might run us over!" said another. White House aides tried to herd the reporters the right way without getting run over themselves. Even the Secret Service got involved, as one agent began yelling at reporters to get clear of the tractor. Watching the chaos below, Bush looked out the tractor's window and laughed, steering the massive machine into the spot where most of the press corps had been positioned. The episode lasted about a minute, and Bush was still laughing when he pulled to a stop. He gave reporters a thumbs-up. "If you've never driven a D-10, it's the coolest experience," Bush said afterward. Yeah, almost as much fun as seeing your life flash before your eyes.

I only wish I were kidding.

The President then explained why he insists on behaving
like a bratty child instead of the leader of the free world.



Not good enough.

Grow up, asshole.