The Non-Apology Apology

This is just one gift the Right and our lovely Prezint have given us, and oh, I just love it to little bits. It's the passive voice, non-apology apology, and it's just so in vogue now. Give the appearance of apologizing, while not admitting any wrongdoing! It's just so cool and hip and with it and what the kids are talking about on the streets with their ipods and pong and Huey Lewis and the Blowfish and whatnot.

You've just run an incredibly offensive, homophobic ad campaign during the Superbowl. Human/Gay Rights organizations are pissed. Take it away, Masterfoods USA!

Snickers Pulls Plug on Superbowl Smooch Ad

I love how it's a "smooch ad," and not a "gay bashing" ad. Come on, queers... can't you take a joke?

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- After a number of groups objected, Masterfoods USA, the maker of Snickers candy bars, has pulled the plug on a controversial Super Bowl commercial that showed two men accidentally kissing.

The 30-second commercial featured two mechanics who end up sharing both a Snickers bar and an inadvertent kiss, and then react by pulling out a clump of chest hair to "do something manly."

On its Web site, the candy maker posted three alternate endings to the commercial and reactions from NFL players.

Groups such as the Human Right Campaign and the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) condemned the ad, saying it promoted anti-gay prejudice and condoned violence against gay Americans.

They conveniently don't mention that part of the reason these groups were so upset is because one of the "alternate endings" featured the two men beating each other up. That might be, you know, important to the story. It might also be important to state that the reactions of the NFL players, supposed "role models," were, to say the least, negative.

So, they're backed into the corner, they've screwed up... what do you do? Sleaze your way out of it, of course!

Masterfoods, which has discontinued the ad campaign, said the intent of the ad was not to offend, and noted that feedback from its target audience had been positive.

"We know that humor is highly subjective and understand that some people may have found the ad offensive. Clearly that was not our intent," Masterfoods said in a statement. "As with all of our Snickers advertising, our goal was to capture the attention of our core Snickers consumer."

Yes, humor is "highly subjective." And there it is, the "we're sorry if you were offended" apology. Read: "We're sorry if you were somehow offended by this advertisement, however, we're not sorry in the least for running it. It's all subjective, after all!" *cutsey shrug*

Oh, and apparently, the "core Snickers consumer" is a bigoted, highly homophobic 18 to 24-year-old male. So color me unsurprised that their focus groups somehow didn't notice that their hilarious advert might miff a few people.

I'm not a big candy eater, but I now have a list of foods that I can cut out of my diet. Glad I'm a Cadbury man.

Greg Saunders has more, and notes,

Homosexuals Are Disgusting, But Snickers Really Satisfies™