Gay Bomb

"Distasteful, but completely non-lethal."

And yes, it's true. They also considered a fart bomb. A fart bomb. Think about it: The US Defense Department seriously considered creating a bomb to fill the enemy with self-doubt as to whether he who smelt it actually dealt it.

Yes, we really are a nation of five-year-olds.

Enjoy the last bit; it's the cherry on the sundae.

In a variation on that idea, researchers pondered a "Who? Me?" bomb, which would simulate flatulence in enemy ranks.

Indeed, a "Who? Me?" device had been under consideration since 1945, the government papers say.

However, researchers concluded that the premise for such a device was fatally flawed because "people in many areas of the world do not find faecal odour offensive, since they smell it on a regular basis".

And, of course, our shit doesn't stink.

Seriously, "America's Enemies" could defeat us all simply by calling up random people in the White Wouse, scream "UNDERWEAR!" into the phone and hang up. The Powers That Be would be overcome by a huge screaming fit of the giggles, and anyone could just walk in and take over.