Assvertising

The new Hyundai ad, via Cheryl.



Didja catch anything missing in that ad, by any chance?
Here's the actual transcript: Smart. Who in the world doesn't want to be smart? The whole human race wants to be smart. Even guys who aren't smart wish they were smart. Being smart is the highest compliment you can be paid, and while some things are cool for a moment in time, smart has never gone out of style. Smart people are whom we've always counted on and admired the most. When stranded on a desert island, whom did everyone turn to? The smart guy. Even in athletics, the smart guys always come out on top. To be smart, you don't need to be rich and successful, but, if you are rich and successful, you're probably pretty darn smart. One thing you'll consistently find in smart people is they make smart choices. That's because smart people do their homework, which allows them to make educated, smart decisions. Now, when it comes to buying a car, there's nothing smarter than buying a Hyundai. [Then a bunch of junk about awards Hyundai has won.] So when you think about everything, when you think about quality and warranty and awards, when you think about safety and features and value for your hard-earned money, it's all clear that choosing a Hyundai is the smartest way to go. Hyundai: Smart move.

Here's what I hear: Sexist. Who in the world doesn't want to be sexist? Sometimes it seems like the whole human race is sexist. Even guys who claim they're not sexist are often sexist. Being sexist is one of the most offensive traits to have, and while sometimes people get called on their sexist shit, sexism has never gone out of style. Sexist people are whom I always revile and disdain the most. When stranded on a desert island, who would most likely turn me into a cannibal? The sexist guy. Even in athletics, sexism still flourishes. To be sexist, you don't need to be ignorant and privileged, but, if you are ignorant and privileged, you're probably pretty darn sexist. One thing you'll consistently find in sexist people is they make sexist choices. That's because sexist people are narcissistic twits, which allows them to make selfish, sexist decisions. Now, when it comes to buying a car, there's nothing that could make me buy a Hyundai. When I think about everything, when I think about the writing and producing and filming of this ad, when I think about people who equate intelligence with having a penis but want my hard-earned money, it's all clear that choosing a Hyundai will never fucking happen. Hyundai: Sexist turds.