He's Not Gay

Add this to the mix of the stories about Senator Larry Craig.

Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) announced emphatically that he is not gay and that he has never been gay. Fine, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't like having sex with men. That would make him homosexual, but not, as he says, gay.

What's the difference between being homosexual and being gay? A lot.

Being gay means that you are aware of your attraction to people of your same sex but it isn't the be-all and end-all of who you are. It means you have overcome the stigma that certain parts of our society -- most notably the religious fundamentalists -- have placed on this facet of your life. It means that you're able to have a mature and loving relationship with people of whatever gender without focusing on the sexual aspects. Most well-adjusted people of whatever sexual orientation are capable of having friends without sleeping with them, and the fact that some people are obsessed with sex shouldn't define everyone else.

The tough part about being gay is that it's liberating. Rather than go along with the program that has been defined by certain religious creeds and Madison Avenue that being straight is the only way to be, gays and lesbians have to make their own way through society's maze of accepted behavior and re-define the American dream in their own way. Some find that a daunting task while others embrace the challenge and use it to lead happy, productive lives with healthy relationships with their friends, their families, and, if they're fortunate, someone to share their home and heart.

Unfortunately there are those who, for whatever reason, cannot accept that they're not a part of the mainstream. Whatever it is that causes them to hide their true self, be it religion, society, family, or political ambition, they work very hard to supress their natural instinct, often with tragic consequences. It forces them to focus on that part of their programming that cannot be repressed: their sexual desires. No matter how hard they try, they can't get beyond that, and therefore it becomes the driving force in their lives. That's incredibly sad, because there is so much more to life than who you sleep with.

So I'll take Senator Craig at his word: he's not gay. On behalf of the gay community, may I say, "Whew." I don't want to have someone like him as a part of the gay community, especially given his voting record on gay issues and his apparent penchant for risky anonymous sex with strangers in public places. Being gay or lesbian is enough of a challenge without any help from people like him.

Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.