Gonzo Hires Defense Attorney

Former Attorney General Alberto "Liarliar McPantsonfire" Gonzales has retained the services of white-collar defense attorney and Bush crony George Terwilliger, one of Bush's 2000 recount legal experts, who, in a shocking coincidence, was "on the White House's short list last month to replace Gonzales."

Gonzales has hired a high-powered Washington lawyer to represent him in investigations of mismanagement of the Justice Department.

…Investigators are look[ing] into allegations that Gonzales lied to lawmakers and illegally allowed politics to influence hiring and firing at the department.

Terwilliger said Gonzales, a close friend of the president's and a former Texas Supreme Court justice, maintains he did nothing wrong or illegal, and that hiring an attorney should not signal any guilt.

"It would really be unfair to individuals who are smart enough to get themselves a lawyer to draw some inference that they need a lawyer because they did something wrong," Terwilliger said in an Associated Press interview.

Excellent point. So, listen up, Shakers—I don't want any of you jumping to conclusions about Gonzo's wrongdoing just because he's hired an attorney. Instead, I want you to make thoughtful, rational, well-considered conclusions based on having been paying attention to the goddamned news for the last two and a half years.

Gonzo is currently being investigated by the Justice Department for: allegedly firing eight federal prosecutors for political reasons, allegedly tampering with witness Monica Goodling, and allegedly lying or otherwise misleading Congress in sworn testimony about the Bush administration's domestic spying program. Gonzo is also being scrutinized by Congress as part of investigations surrounding the US attorney firings and the surveillance program.