If You Meet a Clown in Illinois, Run the Other Way

When I was six years old, John Wayne Gacy, aka "The Killer Clown," went on trial for murder, and the same creepy-ass picture of him dressed in his clown costume was on the news seemingly every damn night, with various reports from the trial detailing his murders. The association between that picture and the murderous ghoul who buried boys in his basement gave me a lifelong aversion to clowns—and now there's another weirdo perv-clown from the Land of Lincoln to freak out a whole new generation.

An Illinois man who worked as a "Christian clown" named Klutzo was arrested yesterday on child pornography charges for allegedly taking naked photographs of young boys at a Philippines orphanage. According to a federal criminal complaint, Amon Paul Carlock took the illicit photos during a "clowning" trip to the House of Joy orphanage earlier this year.

OMG. Just the phrase "clowning trip" alone risks pushing me from ordinary clown-ick to full-on coulrophobia.

Regarding the naked photos of young boys, Carlock explained, "That's how they live." Three of the boys seen in the photos told investigators they woke up to find Carlock fondling and caressing them.

On his web site, Carlock (who has worked with his wife, a fellow clown) describes himself as a Christian clown who performs at parties, picnics, vacation Bible school, children's church. Carlock told investigators that he previously traveled to the House of Joy in 2004 and visited a Mexican orphanage in 2002. He also reported being an ordained minister who has been involved in pastoral ministry, Christian education and camping, and evangelism since 1967.

In one Internet posting on a missionary outreach site, Carlock sought to volunteer at an overseas orphanage "doing any tasks that I am capable of doing. Wife cannot come due to work."

Gross. Just absolutely heinous. It's bad enough to cloak pedophilia in being a children's entertainer, but to add the extra layer of being godly is despicable beyond words—if totally unsurprising.

The thing is, I honestly can't believe anyone who looked at his website actually wanted to hire him, given that viewers are greeted by this picture:


Even the bloody doll looks like it's scared shitless. And no wonder: You'd be scared shitless, too, after gazing into these eyes.

[H/T Blogenfreude.]

UPDATE: The pictured guy is not the busted clown. He is another clown who also goes by the handle Klutzo, from Algonquin, IL. The Klutzo who got busted is from Springfield, IL. The pictured guy is Jerry Kautz. My apologies to Mr. Kautz for passing on bad info. I hope he will change the picture when he reinvents his clown persona and launches a new website. Because, um, the eyes in this one really are fucking creepy, dude.