Iran: Real or Onion?

In today's installment, we take a look at what the Ministry of Homeland Security thinks about the nuclear aspirations of those sneaky Iranians:

Barely two months after U.N. inspectors in Iran failed to find evidence of an active nuclear weapons program, the Department of Homeland Security uncovered new information Monday proving the Middle Eastern nation has obtained literally trillions of atoms—the same particles sometimes used to make atomic bombs—for unknown purposes.

Which is it, Shakers? Answer below the fold.

Onion!

"We have no doubt that Iran now possesses an alarming number of atoms within its borders, despite countless warnings from the international community," Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff said at a press conference Monday afternoon, as he pointed to a satellite image marked with dozens of locations where his office claims the unauthorized atoms are being held. "The Iranians maintain the atoms are only being used to form the building blocks of all existence, but we cannot afford to take that risk."

In this lovely day and age of cherry-picked (or manufactured) intelligence, it's nice to know that we're not as far from The Onion as we might like to think.