Moral Values, Bitchez!

I would do another Mad Lib, but I'm not on my usual computer...

Anyway, unfortunately, another member of the Moral Majority has proved himself to be an upstanding citizen and good Christian after being charged with three counts of using a child in sexual performance and one count of unlawful sexual activity for having allegedly sexually assaulted three boys he mentored at First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, FL:

[Marshal Seymour, a 40-year-old student ministry volunteer] met his victims through the church and paid them to perform sex acts or to keep quiet about sexual encounters, Lakeland police said. The boys were 15, 16 and 17 at the time of the incidents, which occurred during the past two years, according to arrest documents.

...[Jay Dennis], the church's senior pastor, read a statement Saturday afternoon in which he expressed sorrow for the victims and their families, as well as for Seymour's family and friends. Seymour is married with a young child.

Dennis commented: "This is a pastor's worst nightmare." Yeah, I bet it was no picnic for the boys Seymour victimized, either.

Of course, it was a preventable nightmare, but Seymour was allowed to mentor students despite having done the same thing before at another church in Alabama, after First Baptist's background check failed to turn up the one year suspended sentence. Naturally, this has sent church leaders into damage control.

"There will be a new normal for us," Dennis said. "The church has also been harmed by this situation. This is a Category 5 storm for us. Our church is a great church, but today we mourn the fact that innocent people have been profoundly wounded."

Yes, of course. The comments about how the church was harmed by its own incompetence and reminders about what a great church it really is will come later, after the mourning. Ahem.

[H/T Steven Reynolds.]