All I Want for Christmas…

…is for some enterprising reporter to ask SpunkKnob FirePants point-blank if he considers women his equal. Bonus points if a female reporter asks him: "Do you consider me your equal?" And if he has the unmitigated temerity to answer yes, then here's the follow-up question: "Then can you please explain, Mr. Huckabee, why you appear to hold them in such contempt?"

Huckabee is one of those guys who expresses the sanctimonious patronization he calls respect for women with grand protective flourishes like failing to support a woman's right to engage in combat because "of my strong traditional view that women should be treated with respect and dignity and not subject to the kinds of abuses that could occur in combat." Well, fuck you very much, Mr. Chivalry. The problem is that there are women who are willing and ready to risk injury and death for their country as much as any man is, and preventing them from doing so to honor some retrofuck ideal of manhood predicated on infantilizing women only to play Big Protector Daddy treats women with neither respect nor dignity.

It's condescending claptrap, and I am highly dubious that Huckabee is incapable of seeing his own unjustifiable bias for what it really is—just another expression of the privileged arrogance that underlies any argument about Things Girlz Shouldn't Do for Their Own Good.

If he knows what he's doing, and does it anyway, he's a misogynist asshole and doesn't deserve to be president. If he's so fantastically fundie fucknutted that he is quite genuinely ignorant as to how the paternalistic urge to save women from themselves does not honor women nor treat them as equals, then he's too goddamned stupid to be president.

Either way, he's unfit. And he and his graciously submitting wife should just go on a long vacation and leave the rest of us to live in the twenty-first century, during which, by the grace of Maude, their "traditional views" will at long last go the way of the dodo.