How to Be a Good Conservative Blogger, Chapter 9

In the wake of a tragic shooting stretching between a missionary training school and a Colorado Springs megachurch, which ended only when a church parishioner-and-security guard killed the shooter, take the earliest possible opportunity to say something hateful (and totally wrong) about Muslims and share a report that the shooter "hated Christians," labeling the whole thing a hate crime against Christians.

Ignore—whatever you do, ignore—information about the shooter like this:

Murray, 24, was home-schooled by his family and raised in what a friend said was a deeply religious Christian household.

Also ignore that the shooter had been sending the missionary program hate mail after having been kicked out because the "program directors felt that issues with his health made it inappropriate for him" to stay.

A devout Christian quite likely suffering from untreated mental illness is not exactly the picture you want to paint, so do whatever you can to make it sound like a coldly calculating anti-Christian committed the terrible deed. Sure, you'll look like an asshole later, but you'll rise again—your peers don't care how stupid you are, anyway. Just keep feeding their insatiable prejudices.

End note: Bonus points if you help delay the long overdue conversation the nation ought to be having about how we regard, diagnose, and treat mental illness.