Suffer Little Children

From the I’m-Not-Making-This-Shit-Up Files comes this story.

The Catholic Church in NYC has begun distributing a coloring book called "Being Friends, Being Safe, Being Catholic" which warns kids of the dangers of pedophile priests.

I don’t know if this is a bad idea, but I’m pretty sure it’s not a good one.

One image in the book features a guardian angel hovering over an altar boy with a priest lurking in the background.

"For safety's sake, a child and an adult shouldn't be alone in a closed room together," the angel counsels. In another, the angel warns of a sexual predator attempting to chat with a child over the Internet.

It's interesting that the guardian angel is only there to offer advice. Why can't the angel do something more effective? You know, like making Father Wanky's hands fall off, or smiting him with a lightning bolt? I guess it's up to the kids to not get themselves molested. Angels have other things on their plates. So does the Church.

No word on what kind of coloring book has been distributed to the clergy. Maybe something about why it’s so very, very bad to touch altar boys. Of course, that should be obvious, as should be why it’s wrong for Archbishops to shelter child molesters, even those who are good at coloring inside the lines.