What a Couple of Jokers!

Shaker Todd S. (not to be confused with contributor Todd) just forwarded this article to me about a pair of real cut-ups, ahem, who played a hilarious joke on a woman in a bar by holding her down and slicing off her underwear with a knife, then displaying it in the bar like a trophy! Ha ha ha! Fun!

Michael Puhalla, 39, of Sartell, and Russell Baumgardner, 40, of Sauk Rapids, were charged in Stearns County District Court on Wednesday with second-degree sexual assault with a dangerous weapon and second-degree assault with a dangerous weapon. They are accused of holding the woman down against the bar and cutting off her underwear with a pocketknife and placing it on a fan in the bar.

Puhalla and Baumgardner both told authorities they viewed the incident as a joke, according to a criminal complaint.

You'll no doubt be positively flabbergasted to hear that the target of their uproarious prank did not share their view.

The complaint said the woman yelled for help several times and asked the bartender to intervene, but he said, "I can't or they will make things worse for me." There were as many as six other men in the bar and none of them came to her aid, either, she said.

…Puhalla told police he and Baumgardner were joking around when the topic of underwear came up. Referring to the incident, he said it was time for the woman "to take one for the team."

What team, pray tell, would that be? The team that goes around sexually assaulting people for their own amusement? Unfortunately, I believe women already "take one" for that team on a pretty goddamned regular basis.

Baumgardner told police that he has participated in similar acts in the past as a joke. He said everyone in the bar was watching and laughing at the time. He said he tried to apologize to the woman, but she would not talk to him.

What a bitch. Totally can't take a joke.