Psst—Didja Hear Barry Got Hils Pregnant?!

It's true! I learned all about it from DeWayne Wickham in USA Today, who tells me: "If Democrats are going to win the White House in November, they need a shotgun wedding in June."

That's the actual opening line to one of the most vapid, idiotic pieces yet about the supposedly insurmountable rift between black voters and white women voters. Wickham's thesis is that the Dems "stand a good chance of suffering a humiliating defeat in the general election" if the party doesn't run Clinton and Obama together on one ticket. The merits of such an orchestrated maneuver are arguable; I'm more interested in the imagery Wickham uses to convey his idea—a knocked-up Clinton with baby daddy Obama, forced together at gunpoint by Clinton's papa the party elders?

Oy.

Only a person irrevocably insistent on looking at everything through the broad lenses of sex and race could come up with an analogy that carelessly invokes appalling sex and race stereotypes, and treat it as serious political discourse. It's no wonder the whole primary has played out in the unimaginative, uncritical, pithy-ass media like Demographixxx: Beyond Thunderdome!!!

With commentary this absurd, it's no wonder the commentariat persistently fails to realize that the Actual Voting Public is far less permanently polarized and immovably entrenched than they presume.

And, yeah, there are some people who will refuse to vote for one or the other, but, in the final analysis, most lefties will—like every other election—hold their noses and vote for whatever vaguely-to-largely objectionable candidate the perennially stupid Democratic primary process has yielded as its nominee.

I know that narrative's not as "fun" and "horseracy" and "Beyond Thunderdome" and "lacking in critical thought" as the media generally prefers, but it would be nice if they could suspend their desire to have fun long enough to realize that perpetuating the idea of imminent sex- and race- wars in the Democratic ranks actually means something—to the country, to the party, and to the people to whom divisiveness is being unfairly attributed.

It's all fun and games for the people who will never get hurt.

The rest of us would appreciate a little seriousness for a fucking change, though.

["M-Fer" credit Bill O'Reilly.]