Buy Me Some Peanuts and Crackerjack

This little gem aired last night on CNN while I was cooking dinner. Needless to say, it nearly put me off my feed. It is, however, a perfect example of how the MSM treats their own creation, the "sex scandal." With an honest-to-Jebus scorecard. A really nifty scorecard that they can write on, just like the teevee football games!



Yeah, yeah... the show's only an hour. Haw, haw. This clip is just infuriating on so many levels.

(For those of you that can't see the video, a transcript will hopefully be available here. Nutshell: the host and CNN Senior Analyst Jeff Toobin breeze through "the stagecraft of handling sex scandals," which they'd been "thinking about." Oy. They briefly discuss several of the more recognizable names (McGreevy, Vitter, Craig, Spitzer and Fossella), then check off on their scorecard if they "admitted it," and if they "survived in office." Charmingly, they make sure to mention that Craig was caught in the men's room, and list that McGreevy had a "gay affair." I'm amazed they left out "hot" and "naked.")

First, I resent the fact that CNN is assuming we give a flying fuck how these abusers of power and privilege survived their various "scandals." They're discussing this topic as if it were a sporting event. We should be outraged that these "scandals" are happening in the first place; instead, it's turned into a puff piece to chuckle over. This isn't a goddamn game of dodgeball. The show is only an hour, so we can only discuss the big scandals, ho ho ho, and please don't think of all the shit that the people we elected are getting away with because we don't know about it yet.

Second, it's absolutely ridiculous to boil "survival" down to simply "Did they admit it or not?" Money, power and politics (not to mention the gargantuan laziness of the media) are completely ignored in order to make a simple, bite-sized chunk of NOOZ that completely ignores the corruption that creates these "scandals" in the first place.

Third, the way they present this, you'd think there are no victims in these scandals aside from the pasty guy sweating under the lights. Nothing about the anguish suffered by the families, nothing about the "other man/woman," nothing about ripped off constituents, nothing about what this says about prostitution, and of course, never anything regarding how these scandals reflect what it means to be gay in this country. It's treated like a fart in a business meeting; horribly embarrassing and you'll probably never live it down amongst your peers, but it was a helluva laugh, wasn't it?

Fourth, oh CNN, are you going to mention that the vast majority of these scandals involve Republicans, who run on "family values" platforms and Good Christian Values (tm), while behind the scenes, porking like Bacchus on a three day weekend? Oh, you're not? Okay then.

Finally: There is no such fucking thing as a sex scandal. This is an issue of ethics. The fact that boners are somehow involved means nothing other than an increase in the titillation factor. Sex scandals are a complete fabrication of the media, who harp on and on about this crap to make it seem important and necessary, while ignoring every detail of the story that might actually be important and necessary. The "scandal" is created by people who will say they're "just giving the viewers what they want," while they're actually treating viewers with staggering amounts of contempt.

This isn't news. It's fucking pointless. Without discussion regarding the ethical issues at play or the damage done to people and constituents, we're in "fireman rescues cat from tree" territory.

One final thing: Everyone involved in any way with this piece of poo was paid well for their involvement. That makes me want to punch things.

(Thanks to Space Cowboy for finding the video)