Assvertising

Shaker Maurinsky just passed on this advert for Klondike Bars, which was running quite awhile ago, and now they've evidently decided to re-run, because it was so awesome the first time around:

Transcript: [sound of sporting event on TV in background]

VO: Pete Herman brought his glass into the kitchen. And put it in the dishwasher. Give that guy a Klondike Bar.

Jingle: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Oh, my aching sides! How uproariously brilliant! Men are so dumb that they've got to be rewarded for doing what my mother taught me to do when I was five years old! And women, whose expectations are necessarily in the toilet since all men are such idiots, have learned to train men like the dumb animals they are! Put your dirty glass in the dishwasher and get a doggy treat Klondike Bar! Wheeeeeeeeeee!

And let me just note, once again, that about the last place on earth you'll find active feminists is in the executive wing of any advertising firm. These disagreeable stereotypes of men brought to you by The Patriarchy^TM.

The Patriarchy^TM: Bad for everyone but patriarchs*!

* Term not applicable to women, men of color, gay men, bisexual men, trans men, male-identifed intersex men, poor men, most disabled men, men who would like to show a spectrum of emotion, men who consider women equal to them, and/or any other men who by virtue of birth, circumstance, or personal choice have been rendered powerless and/or unwilling to enforce patriarchal standards, and therefore undesirable as fully privileged members of The Patriarchy^TM.

[Assvertising Series: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three.]