Shakers

Irony, thy name is Shakers:

SPRINGFIELD, Ore. - A controversial plan to open a new strip club in downtown Springfield went before the City Council and a standing room only crowd at City Hall Monday evening. At issue: whether the city should recommend that operator Jack Dugger be granted a liquor license for the club on Main Street.

The city wants to deny the license because of many concerns including the club's location near a school. Those who oppose Shakers, including some city officials, also highlighted Dugger's past criminal history.

Dugger said the matter has turned from a debate over Shakers to a personal attack on his character.

…In the end, the City Council voted to deny the liquor license to Dugger [citing his] past criminal history, violation of liquor laws and illegal activity around his other business called "Club 420" as some reasons behind the disapproval.

Awww. Wah wah wah.

So, if you're a Shaker, you may be:

1. A naked dancer in Springfield, Oregon.

2. A salt or pepper dispenser.

3. A member of a religious sect that emerged in 18th century Manchester but dwindled to four members by 2006 as a result of their belief in total celibacy.

4. A member of a different religious sect that emerged in the 19th century combining the beliefs and riturals of Native Americans, Catholics, and Protestants, and having nothing to do with the aforementioned Mancunian-born Shakers.

5. A member of the blog community Shakesville—official member of the Cult of the Feminazi Cooter, reservist in the Dry Pussy Brigade, and subject of the Queen Cunt of Fuck Mountain.

Disparte groups, those. Little danger of one Shaker being mistaken for another, I guess.

[H/T to Shaker Juliemania.]